June 15, 2014

Depression Has Been Keeping Me Down Lately

Those of you who followed me in the past via my stagnant and inactive YouTube channel and other social media may have wondered why I haven't been around in quite some time.

Depression
Fact is, I have been suffering from depression and it's really been kicking me in the ass.  I have lost interest in so many things I used to really enjoy.  Days pass by in some form of thoughtless funk that rids my soul of any desire or motivation whatsoever.. sometimes it lasts for weeks, until finally I snap out of it with a burst of motivation, mostly because my housework and errands went neglected for so long, but the short bursts of energetic motivation that come and go never last long and then I'm back in some prolonged state of lazy, tired, and chronically depressed.

Due to several past situations, I also suffer from post traumatic stress disorder and this on top of depression is really causing me to really lose focus.

I can't think straight... and often I can't even articulate much of what's been on my mind.   I feel alone, and I feel stuck and hopeless.

I no longer desire to do the things I once liked to do and it sucks.   Some people, mostly my mom, have asked why I'm not on medication to help with the depression and PTSD, yet they fail to understand my reasons for not wanting to take any kind of synthetics or pharmaceuticals.  I absolutely refuse to do so.  I fear the adverse affects and the potential for making things worse, and gave always been strongly against pharmaceuticals and synthetic drugs, particularly those designed for changing thought process and brain activity, etc.

I don't know why I'm writing about this, other than for the fact that I haven't been motivated nor interested in writing anything for quite some time, and although I have often wished to make a new YouTube video for my channel, when I tried, YouTube screwed something up and disconnects me every single time I'm recording, so I say "screw it" and forget about it, and many times, even though I wish to make a new video, I often have no clue what I should talk about.  I'm so lost and confused most days of the week, and it's really messing me up.

I really need to snap out of it and figure things out

May 1, 2014

The Best Panties for Men

The Best Panties For Men

I originally wrote this article for another blog back in 2010, however, that blog was deleted a long time ago when I lost the domain name due to not being able to renew the registration . I decided to re-post The Best Panties for Men article here, although I have edited it a bit from the original version, it could use an update

. Let's face it, a lot of men prefer to wear women's panties rather than wear uncomfortable men's cotton briefs or other underwear available for men. Cross dressers and transgender women included, it's a fact that many regular guys just simply prefer the softer, silkier fabrics and the excellent comfort offered by woman's panties, and some guys just have a fetish for panties, and there's certainly some form of arousal too for many men who wear panties.

. After a considerable amount of research into the matter, it turns out that men wearing panties is very common and the majority of men wearing panties are married heterosexual men. Women's panties are so much more comfortable and they feel fantastic, however, shopping for panties has become an exercise in trial and error. With women's underwear, there's more variety, more choices of fabric, pattern, colors and on and on... Simply put, it's just better... Much better. I love Hanes Body Creations ComfortSoft® Stretch Satin Hi Cut Briefs due to the sleek shiny soft satin fabric and the fact that I could wear them under my jeans without my panties showing. These are a great choice for men that wear panties since the waist band is not feminine in style and if you stick with black, white or other dark colors, nobody would really know you're wearing panties. A pair of Hanes Satin Stretch Panties is what I had on when I revealed my gender identity disorder to my wife. As a transgender woman who loves shiny satin, these were my first choice of panties to wear until I bought the panties below.. So luxurious and sexy. Yesterday I visited a department store to go panty shopping and although I was somewhat overwhelmed with the experience and having so many sexy shiny smooth silky panties to choose from, I had in my mind a few brands I wanted to try based on their reviews and recommendations from both men and women and I'm happy I purchased them as they're both now my favorites to wear.
Jockey® No Panty Line Promise® Tactel® Hip Brief
The first brand I picked up is Jockey® No Panty Line Promise® Tactel® Hip Brief. I decided to buy these based on several great reviews read online and recommendations from other men wearing panties and WOW are these buttery soft silky lightweight panties SUPERB. They're extremely lightweight and super comfortable as they're barely noticeable other than the soft silky fabric and the fit is fantastic for the male anatomy as the snug silky fabric gently hugs my testicles and penis, holding them in place. I love these awesome panties and think this is a must have panty for men that wear panties. They fit great and lack any feminine features and are invisible, nobody will know you're wearing panties, and since Jockey® is a famous men's underwear brand, anyone seeing you in these sexy little panties will think they're just sexy men's underwear instead of women's silky panties.
Warner's True Fit Hi Cut Brief
Another brand of women's panties I had fresh on my mind was Warner's True Fit Hi Cut Brief and I must say these panties are my ultimate favorite and I consider these panties to be the best panties for men. I've read reviews from other men whom said the same thing, but after actually wearing these panties, I know these men in panties were right and am so glad I bought these well made and comfortable panties.. The Warner's True Fit Hi Cut Brief is ultimately the best panties for men to wear due to it adequately covering and holding the male anatomy and it feels soft, fits well and wears well under clothing with no visible lines, pinching or riding up, etc. Although the waist band has a floral pattern, this panty does not even look feminine and could be considered men's underwear if it did not have the floral pattern, yet, with the black panties I purchased, the pattern on the waistband is not even noticeable unless you look closely. Although these panties are nylon spandex, they lack the shine of satin, yet feel the same and anyone seeing you in these panties may think they're men's bikini underwear. I love this panty very much. I went riding on my motorcycle wearing these panties and had no problems with fit or comfort and think these panties are perfect for men to wear while playing sports or other active workouts. As much as I love the sensual feel of the Jockey panty above, if I were only able to choose one brand and style of panties to wear, it would have to be the Warner's True Fit Hi Cut Brief. Another reason I consider this the best panties for men is the fact that the shiny satin panties tend to give me an erection or arouse me all day, while this panty is just an overall perfect panty to wear.. Perfect fit and comfort and until I buy more panties to compare to these, I suggest this as the best panties for guys that like nylon spandex panties. Even the sales clerk at the store recommended these panties to me suggesting "you'll love these and they'll fit you nice and comfortably" even though I said I was shopping for my wife. ------------------

Author Note: 08/03/2011 ------------------------- The above article The Best Panties For Men was written before I fully accepted that I am a transsexual woman and progressed onto transition to being and presenting myself as a woman on a full time basis. I did contemplate deleting this post since I no longer identify nor present myself as a man, however, due to demand for this specific post, I decided to leave it online.

November 13, 2013

How to Make a Planter Out of a Bible

How to Make a Plant Container Out of a Bible

Haworthia Attenuata in Bible Planter
Haworthia Attenuata in Bible Planter


Oh my has it been a really long time since I last posted here.   Not only have things been sort of chaotically disorganized in my life, but I am also overwhelmed with a multitude of tasks of late, leaving me little time, energy or motivation to write, because often, at the end of the day, I am just too exhausted and can't even think straight, never mind even think about what to write about.

  Fortunately today is not one of those days.  If you know me, then you know that I love growing houseplants and have a large collection of various plants throughout my home.  For quite some time I have been wanting to create a unique planter out of a book, however, haven't gotten around to doing it, particularly because I didn't want to destroy any of the books I own. 

Bible
Well, take it as a sign, but as I was dumping my trash into the dumpster outside, I noticed a small stack of books, one of them being a Bible.  I thought to myself "hmm.. a perfect candidate for destruction" and brought it inside with the intentions of creating a planter out of the Bible.

Of course you don't have to use a bible to create your own planter.  You can use the Koran or any other fairy tale you wish, so long as it's a hardcover and has enough depth to house the plant you wish to plant in it.

First you want to flip over several pages, and then cut away a hole through the remainder of the book making sure to leave a couple dozen pages at the bottom.




Next, flip over about 4 of the pages you cut out of and then line the hole with plastic.  Now fold the opened pages over the exposed plastic.  Fill with soil and plant your favorite small plant in it.

June 14, 2013

I'm Transsexual and I Oppose Employment Non Discrimination Act H.R. 1755 & S. 815

There is No Human Right To Infringe Upon Any Individual Right


As an openly transsexual woman, a person born genetically male having been undergoing physical, physiological, mental & spiritual transition to female, and having been living as, presenting as, and identify as female on a daily basis for the past 4 years, I oppose the Employment Non Discrimination Act, aka ENDA, H.R. 1755 & S. 815.
Employment Non Discrimination Act ENDA H.R. 1755 & S. 815.

Those of you who know me know that my political and legal points of view are firmly aligned with the Libertarian ideals and philosophies, and it is due to these values that I have this conflict with ENDA as it currently stands with its blanket inclusion of gender identity and expression.   The problem with this bill is not its protections against discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, but of its lack of precise specificity in regard to gender identity and expression because as it now stands, the proposed bill is a severe infringement on individual rights, as all such bills for "the common good of all" always tend to be.  More specifically, the bill infringes on ones private property rights, as well as the rights of freedom of association and ones right of choice.  There is no equality when a law oppresses the right of one to accommodate the affirmed right of another.

No governmental body, force nor law and legislation has ANY right to deny ANY individual their right of choice and to decide for their own self what is in their own best interests, nor of that affecting their property, nor the fruits of their labors.

Sexual orientation alone IS deserving of such anti discrimination protections, because sexual orientation is not a recognizable and visible characteristic that can be recognized nor known without actually knowing the individual on an intimate personal level..  Simply to say, you don't know who is gay or not by just looking at them, unless they told you so, therefore, if you hired such a person and then later learned about their sexual orientation after the fact, I agree that it should be unlawful to terminate such person's employment on these grounds as their sexual orientation does not affect their work performance and duties, nor is it a risk to your business, clientele or bottom line, etc.   Simply put, a gay or lesbian person presents no risk of loss nor any other dangers to a business or property owner because of their sexual orientation, however, the same can not be said in regards to gender identity and expression.

Gender identity and expression are in several various instances easily recognizable and visibly apparent characteristics, and in several instances, can be a big problem for one's business operations, can be a problem for one's bottom line, and affect their customer base, daily operations and more.   What happens if ENDA as it is in its current form is passed, and a large burly guy named John Q Brickshithouse who works at Freedom Ironworks in the Bible Belt of Southern USA decides he wants to suddenly show up to work dressed as a woman, and express long repressed feelings of gender expression?   Should John Q Brickshithouse be fired for showing up to work improperly dressed to perform the duties for which he was hired for?  How about for causing a disruption of normal day to day operations?  How about for causing productivity to go down, because other employees were too occupied with discussion over John's choice to show up to work in a dress.   How about for causing profit loss because customers, clients, etc chose to disassociate with the business due to John being employed there?   One simply does not stop doing business with a company because they employ a gay person, because it's not a recognizable and visibly apparent characteristic... However, John Q Brickshithouse sticks out like a sore thumb and there's no chance in hell ANYONE on earth would EVER think he is a woman, and it CAN affect business, profits, productivity, and much more within the work place.

As a transsexual woman, YES it is difficult to find a job, because YES people do exercise THEIR CHOICE to not hire me, and that is their RIGHT to do so, because it is their PRIVATE PROPERTY and they are free to voluntarily associate with whomever they wish, and it is not within the legal scope and authority of the US government to use coercion and force to oppress, infringe upon and violate ones INDIVIDUAL RIGHTS.

It is the right of the individual to protect their own interests against loss and risk, and in my opinion, gender identity and expression in several types of work places and businesses, CAN present a risk, and CAN cause losses, notwithstanding location, because location alone presents a whole new set of problems.. I assume I don't have to spell it out for you and illustrate examples, such as what could happen in such places like in the deep south US, several portions of the Farmlands, or even the Mid West, etc, etc.

What if I, as a property owner, engaged in business, simply do not want to hire someone like John Q Brickshithouse simply for the fact that such person looks like a freaking IDIOT dressed as a woman?

Also, ENDA needs to be more specific in its definitions and terms insofar as what the limits are on protections for gender identity.  Certainly being transsexual is not by choice, however, there are too many instances and examples within "gender identity" & expression that ARE by choice, and DO present risk..   The bills for ENDA need more specificity and are dangerous infringements to personal liberty in their current form.