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Showing posts with label Transgender. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Transgender. Show all posts

May 1, 2014

The Best Panties for Men

The Best Panties For Men

I originally wrote this article for another blog back in 2010, however, that blog was deleted a long time ago when I lost the domain name due to not being able to renew the registration . I decided to re-post The Best Panties for Men article here, although I have edited it a bit from the original version, it could use an update

. Let's face it, a lot of men prefer to wear women's panties rather than wear uncomfortable men's cotton briefs or other underwear available for men. Cross dressers and transgender women included, it's a fact that many regular guys just simply prefer the softer, silkier fabrics and the excellent comfort offered by woman's panties, and some guys just have a fetish for panties, and there's certainly some form of arousal too for many men who wear panties.

. After a considerable amount of research into the matter, it turns out that men wearing panties is very common and the majority of men wearing panties are married heterosexual men. Women's panties are so much more comfortable and they feel fantastic, however, shopping for panties has become an exercise in trial and error. With women's underwear, there's more variety, more choices of fabric, pattern, colors and on and on... Simply put, it's just better... Much better. I love Hanes Body Creations ComfortSoft® Stretch Satin Hi Cut Briefs due to the sleek shiny soft satin fabric and the fact that I could wear them under my jeans without my panties showing. These are a great choice for men that wear panties since the waist band is not feminine in style and if you stick with black, white or other dark colors, nobody would really know you're wearing panties. A pair of Hanes Satin Stretch Panties is what I had on when I revealed my gender identity disorder to my wife. As a transgender woman who loves shiny satin, these were my first choice of panties to wear until I bought the panties below.. So luxurious and sexy. Yesterday I visited a department store to go panty shopping and although I was somewhat overwhelmed with the experience and having so many sexy shiny smooth silky panties to choose from, I had in my mind a few brands I wanted to try based on their reviews and recommendations from both men and women and I'm happy I purchased them as they're both now my favorites to wear.
Jockey® No Panty Line Promise® Tactel® Hip Brief
The first brand I picked up is Jockey® No Panty Line Promise® Tactel® Hip Brief. I decided to buy these based on several great reviews read online and recommendations from other men wearing panties and WOW are these buttery soft silky lightweight panties SUPERB. They're extremely lightweight and super comfortable as they're barely noticeable other than the soft silky fabric and the fit is fantastic for the male anatomy as the snug silky fabric gently hugs my testicles and penis, holding them in place. I love these awesome panties and think this is a must have panty for men that wear panties. They fit great and lack any feminine features and are invisible, nobody will know you're wearing panties, and since Jockey® is a famous men's underwear brand, anyone seeing you in these sexy little panties will think they're just sexy men's underwear instead of women's silky panties.
Warner's True Fit Hi Cut Brief
Another brand of women's panties I had fresh on my mind was Warner's True Fit Hi Cut Brief and I must say these panties are my ultimate favorite and I consider these panties to be the best panties for men. I've read reviews from other men whom said the same thing, but after actually wearing these panties, I know these men in panties were right and am so glad I bought these well made and comfortable panties.. The Warner's True Fit Hi Cut Brief is ultimately the best panties for men to wear due to it adequately covering and holding the male anatomy and it feels soft, fits well and wears well under clothing with no visible lines, pinching or riding up, etc. Although the waist band has a floral pattern, this panty does not even look feminine and could be considered men's underwear if it did not have the floral pattern, yet, with the black panties I purchased, the pattern on the waistband is not even noticeable unless you look closely. Although these panties are nylon spandex, they lack the shine of satin, yet feel the same and anyone seeing you in these panties may think they're men's bikini underwear. I love this panty very much. I went riding on my motorcycle wearing these panties and had no problems with fit or comfort and think these panties are perfect for men to wear while playing sports or other active workouts. As much as I love the sensual feel of the Jockey panty above, if I were only able to choose one brand and style of panties to wear, it would have to be the Warner's True Fit Hi Cut Brief. Another reason I consider this the best panties for men is the fact that the shiny satin panties tend to give me an erection or arouse me all day, while this panty is just an overall perfect panty to wear.. Perfect fit and comfort and until I buy more panties to compare to these, I suggest this as the best panties for guys that like nylon spandex panties. Even the sales clerk at the store recommended these panties to me suggesting "you'll love these and they'll fit you nice and comfortably" even though I said I was shopping for my wife. ------------------

Author Note: 08/03/2011 ------------------------- The above article The Best Panties For Men was written before I fully accepted that I am a transsexual woman and progressed onto transition to being and presenting myself as a woman on a full time basis. I did contemplate deleting this post since I no longer identify nor present myself as a man, however, due to demand for this specific post, I decided to leave it online.

June 14, 2013

I'm Transsexual and I Oppose Employment Non Discrimination Act H.R. 1755 & S. 815

There is No Human Right To Infringe Upon Any Individual Right


As an openly transsexual woman, a person born genetically male having been undergoing physical, physiological, mental & spiritual transition to female, and having been living as, presenting as, and identify as female on a daily basis for the past 4 years, I oppose the Employment Non Discrimination Act, aka ENDA, H.R. 1755 & S. 815.
Employment Non Discrimination Act ENDA H.R. 1755 & S. 815.

Those of you who know me know that my political and legal points of view are firmly aligned with the Libertarian ideals and philosophies, and it is due to these values that I have this conflict with ENDA as it currently stands with its blanket inclusion of gender identity and expression.   The problem with this bill is not its protections against discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, but of its lack of precise specificity in regard to gender identity and expression because as it now stands, the proposed bill is a severe infringement on individual rights, as all such bills for "the common good of all" always tend to be.  More specifically, the bill infringes on ones private property rights, as well as the rights of freedom of association and ones right of choice.  There is no equality when a law oppresses the right of one to accommodate the affirmed right of another.

No governmental body, force nor law and legislation has ANY right to deny ANY individual their right of choice and to decide for their own self what is in their own best interests, nor of that affecting their property, nor the fruits of their labors.

Sexual orientation alone IS deserving of such anti discrimination protections, because sexual orientation is not a recognizable and visible characteristic that can be recognized nor known without actually knowing the individual on an intimate personal level..  Simply to say, you don't know who is gay or not by just looking at them, unless they told you so, therefore, if you hired such a person and then later learned about their sexual orientation after the fact, I agree that it should be unlawful to terminate such person's employment on these grounds as their sexual orientation does not affect their work performance and duties, nor is it a risk to your business, clientele or bottom line, etc.   Simply put, a gay or lesbian person presents no risk of loss nor any other dangers to a business or property owner because of their sexual orientation, however, the same can not be said in regards to gender identity and expression.

Gender identity and expression are in several various instances easily recognizable and visibly apparent characteristics, and in several instances, can be a big problem for one's business operations, can be a problem for one's bottom line, and affect their customer base, daily operations and more.   What happens if ENDA as it is in its current form is passed, and a large burly guy named John Q Brickshithouse who works at Freedom Ironworks in the Bible Belt of Southern USA decides he wants to suddenly show up to work dressed as a woman, and express long repressed feelings of gender expression?   Should John Q Brickshithouse be fired for showing up to work improperly dressed to perform the duties for which he was hired for?  How about for causing a disruption of normal day to day operations?  How about for causing productivity to go down, because other employees were too occupied with discussion over John's choice to show up to work in a dress.   How about for causing profit loss because customers, clients, etc chose to disassociate with the business due to John being employed there?   One simply does not stop doing business with a company because they employ a gay person, because it's not a recognizable and visibly apparent characteristic... However, John Q Brickshithouse sticks out like a sore thumb and there's no chance in hell ANYONE on earth would EVER think he is a woman, and it CAN affect business, profits, productivity, and much more within the work place.

As a transsexual woman, YES it is difficult to find a job, because YES people do exercise THEIR CHOICE to not hire me, and that is their RIGHT to do so, because it is their PRIVATE PROPERTY and they are free to voluntarily associate with whomever they wish, and it is not within the legal scope and authority of the US government to use coercion and force to oppress, infringe upon and violate ones INDIVIDUAL RIGHTS.

It is the right of the individual to protect their own interests against loss and risk, and in my opinion, gender identity and expression in several types of work places and businesses, CAN present a risk, and CAN cause losses, notwithstanding location, because location alone presents a whole new set of problems.. I assume I don't have to spell it out for you and illustrate examples, such as what could happen in such places like in the deep south US, several portions of the Farmlands, or even the Mid West, etc, etc.

What if I, as a property owner, engaged in business, simply do not want to hire someone like John Q Brickshithouse simply for the fact that such person looks like a freaking IDIOT dressed as a woman?

Also, ENDA needs to be more specific in its definitions and terms insofar as what the limits are on protections for gender identity.  Certainly being transsexual is not by choice, however, there are too many instances and examples within "gender identity" & expression that ARE by choice, and DO present risk..   The bills for ENDA need more specificity and are dangerous infringements to personal liberty in their current form.

April 1, 2013

The Hypocrisy Of The Vile & Despicable Vermin That Is The Modern Liberal, Progressive Filth

Modern Liberals and Progressive Scum Are Hypocrites & Liars.

Modern liberals and progressives are hypocritical, filthy swine
It is ironic that the modern liberals and so called progressives are actually the most intolerant people in America.    The modern liberal filth and progressive scum are so hypocritical, so racist, so vile, and they disgust me.  They make me sick.

These leftist scumbags like to toss around accusations that conservatives, the religious right, republicans, libertarians and anyone else not a democrat or leftist are racist, homophobic, and so on, yet, from my own actual life experience, it is quite the opposite that is true, and it's nothing but liberal lies, but that's no surprise, because lying is one of the lefts infamous tactics.

If you're a regular reader or follower of my social media, then you know that I am not only a libertarian, "formerly conservative republican", and that I am transsexual.     In my personal experiences, so many other transgender persons found it a problematic issue that I am libertarian and that I do not support progressive, leftist goals, etc..   They almost always say "but they don't accept transgender", or things like "but they hate transgender people" and "but they're against our rights" and so on..    But, in my own actual experiences, this is not only a lie, but so far from the truth, because it's actually those on the left who exhibit these characteristics of intolerance, prejudice, hate, and so on...  I would have included ignorance, however, it isn't necessary because one would certainly have to be ignorant to be a modern liberal or progressive in the first place, so it's a given that ignorance is most certainly a modern liberal character trait.

Although I have known my whole life about my gender identity issues, I hid it and kept it secret, until summer of 2010.   Since 1988, the first presidential election I was eligible to vote in, I have been voting republican, with the exception of when Ross Perot ran.. that is until 2008 when I learned that my political ideology, philosophy and beliefs are libertarian, and not conservative, and I was awakened, and began supporting Ron Paul.      Naturally the majority of my closest friends and acquaintances are also libertarian, or republican.  Granted that I do have a few, but not many, friends who are liberals or progressives, however,   it is these modern liberals who have expressed lack of acceptance and shown bigotry regarding transsexualism, and that it's my libertarian and republican friends who have accepted me regardless of coming out as transsexual.

Although I have experienced very few real life negative impacts of being openly transsexual in public, whenever an incident has taken place, in the majority of these few and rare instances, the culprit who expressed trans-prejudice was 95% of the time, modern liberal filth.

It's even worse on the web.  I am, (or was up until recently), very active on YouTube, and on my channel, have discussed various political topics, and also have videos discussing being transgender, and several even appearing as my female self.      The majority of my subscribers are also libertarian, or conservative republican, due to my political commentary prior to coming out and telling them that I am transgender... However, it's mostly the liberal filth that have expressed bigoted anti-trans epithets.

Reviewing comments left on numerous videos, in the majority of instances, roughly over 90% of the time, it is modern liberal scum, you know, the Obama loving scumbags, who post negative slurs, most notably, "faggot"....  Ironic considering the fact that the issue of same sex marriage is one championed by modern liberals, yet it's a majority of liberal swine who call people faggot on YouTube.    In the overwhelming majority of trans bashing experienced online, it's a modern liberal scumbag who is the one doing it.

Granted that yes there are those who are conservative, republican, libertarian and so on who are intolerant towards transgender people, and so on, however, in my own actual experiences, it is the modern liberal filth, the progressive scum who have shown to be the intolerant ones.     They are indeed, hypocrites.

Thinking about several of my friends, the very few who have expressed any form of intolerance towards transgender persons, are all progressive idiots.  Fortunately, the number of friends I have that are liberal account for less than 1%

Since I'm rambling on about liberal hypocrisy, let's talk about the issue of same sex marriage...   These liberal idiots go on and on pissing and moaning about their rights, yet simultaneously are outspoken against the rights of others, such as gun owners..   They are hypocrites, and are against LIBERTY...  They make me sick.

A lot of people use photos of sheep in memes about liberals and progressives, but I think swine is more appropriate, because these modern liberal scum, this progressive filth, they're disgusting pigs is what they are.

November 12, 2012

Paula Dorf Special Camouflage

Paula Dorf Special Camouflage

Paula Dorf Special Camouflage As a transgender woman, one of the biggest battles I face is facial hair follicle shadow that remains after shaving. Until I can afford and complete electrolysis hair removal, I'm stuck with shaving and having this bluish silvery tint due to hairs beneath the skin's surface inside the follicles. Although one can completely shave off all their facial hair, there still remains a bluish/grayish tint which still shows through most foundations and concealers, therefore a beard cover up is necessary prior to applying makeup, however, Paula Dorf Special Camouflage is not a beard coverup, but a special color corrector duo which consists of two tones, one yellowish to color correct reddish skin, and the other, peach in color, is a blue neutralizer. After countless fruitless efforts at attempting to hide my facial hair shadows bluish tint with various concealers, camouflages and foundations, I decided to visit a local cosmetics store and ask them what to do about my unique situation, and that's when I learned about Paula Dorf Special Camouflage and its ability to neutralize the bluish tones into my own natural skin tone. This product does not simply cover and hide the bluish tint, it neutralizes the color and the product completely blends into a natural skin tone which can then be easily covered and blended with any foundation of my choice, completely getting rid of any facial hair shadow. Although this product was not specifically made for covering up beard areas and facial hair shadows, it does work very well for this purpose and I highly recommend it.

   Many women use Paula Dorf Special Camouflage to neutralize the bluish tints under their eyes, such as dark circles and it even works on getting rid of unsightly blue veins too. This light weight and non greasy makeup is simply stippled onto your face using a brush, and is easily blended in. You can apply it on before your foundation, or after and it only takes a very small amount to neutralize the entire beard area. As one whom is out on a daily basis, this tiny 0.05 ounce portion of the product usually lasts me a little over two weeks. Although both colors together are 0.1 ounces, it is only the peach toned portion of the product that's of interest to me since I do not need any color correction for red skin.

  It would be nice though if this product was sold in single colors and larger amounts. I have tried another blue neutralizer made by a different cosmetics manufacturer at a lower cost and larger amount, however, my review of that particular product is by far less favorable due to the dark color which does not match my skin tone, but I will be writing about that specific product nonetheless sometime in the future.

Disclosure Statement

October 26, 2012

Natural Herbs That Help Produce Estrogen

Natural Herbs That Help Produce Estrogen

Due to the fact that I took a serious interest in emergency survival preparedness, I have spent a great deal of time over the years learning about wild edible plants, many of which also serve for medicinal purposes and natural healing etc. Recently however, my interest in wild edible plants and medicinal herbs has increased.

One day this past summer I took a walk along a wooded trail by the river with a very close friend of mine to dig up some Burdock Root, which he taught me about as a natural wild food. After sharing a prepared Burdock root meal with my friend, I researched more about Burdock and its medicinal properties, as well as that of various other plants we harvested. I have researched quite a bit on Burdock Root and have discovered that Burdock Root contain plant estrogens, which act like the estrogen hormone in the human body.. Alternatives to HRT are herbs that contain plant estrogens. In addition to Burdock root, others include red clover, seaweed, dandelion root, fenugreek, nettle, hops, flaxseeds, black cohosh, St. John's wort, lemon balm and sage. Herbs may interact in a negative way with medications, so discuss their use with your doctor beforehand.

I myself have been manipulating my own hormone levels through herbs and diet, and it does work. I have developed small breasts, my skin is smoother, my body hair decreased and I am starting to show a larger hip. I had already been into herbal and diet based HRT alternatives when I wrote Natural Hormone Replacement Therapy for Transsexuals , so, I wish to expand in this area.
As for the Burdock Root for the estrogen benefits, it can be consumed via drinking it as a tea, or by eating the cooked roots.

As for getting Burdock Root, you can either harvest it from the wild as I do, or you can buy it online either in its organic root form, or as a supplement pill, powder, tea, etc.

October 25, 2012

No No Hair Removal

No No Hair Removal

No No Hair RemovalBecause I am a transsexual, having facial hair that grows back daily is a constant struggle requiring consistent maintenance, so, because I can not afford laser hair removal or electrolysis I so badly want to try the No No Hair Removal system. It advertises as "Long lasting, pain-free hair removal for body and facial hair. Get sexy, smooth, touchable skin that lasts and lasts with the no!no! Hair professional technology made for consumers. No!no! delivers a long-lasting solution to unwanted hair with thermicon, a heat based technology for all skin types and hair colors. No!no! is unlike any traditional hair removal method; thermicon technology makes all the difference. Thermicon works on the thermal principle of heat transference conducting a gentle pulse of heat that reduces hair growth over time while removing the hair simultaneously." Considering it's priced from $270 to $300, I suppose it's a real viable alternative to laser or electrolysis which can run into thousands of dollars over time, yet, for me it's just a bit too expensive, however, since I am an Amazon affiliate and earn 4% commission on all sales generated, if you buy the No No from Amazon , or any other products via my link(s) in my various posts, I'll accrue the commission earnings which I can then apply to the purchase of my own No No Hair Removal device. I am so sick of having to shave all the time due to being too damn poor to get electrolysis or laser hair removal treatments and would love to be able to go out without having to apply blue neutralizers, concealers and foundation.

Have you ever used the No No Hair Removal System?  What were your results? Have you used any similar devices, such as the Silk'n Flash & Go Permanent Hair Removal Device, or Tria® Laser Hair Removal or any other similar devices?  Please share your results, recommendations, etc.

October 24, 2012

Skin Care and Makeup Application for Transgender Women

Skin Care and Makeup Application for Transgender Women

A concise, step by step how to guide and tutorial on skin care and makeup application for transsexual and  transgender women. 


Quite awhile ago I wrote a blog post on skin care for transgender women, however, that post was brief and did not include makeup application. Afterwards, I have been asked many questions from other transgender women on how to do makeup, etc, so have decided to expand on that and create this how to article for transsexual & other transgender women on skin care and makeup application. I myself am a transsexual and although I am no expert in skin care nor makeup application, I am out and living my life on a full time basis as a woman and have the practical knowledge and experience, so, I wish to share my knowledge with others whom are recently discovering their gender identity or exploring it, or for anyone else interested in makeup application and skin care.

 Although I'm not a professional makeup artist, I have spent the time necessary to learn and acquire the skills required in order to successfully transform my appearance to be the beautiful woman I am on the inside.  The above photo illustrates three different looks and yes, all three images are of me.

Getting a Smooth and Soft Face

Preparing Your Face for Makeup Application

Unlike natal females, the transgender woman must shave facial hair on a daily basis until permanent hair removal is achieved through either electrolysis or laser hair removal. To some, it's a known fact that female skin is much softer than male skin, but also, male skin is much more porous, something that needs to be dealt with in order to look good with makeup on since male pores are larger. As a transgender woman whom presents her self as female on a daily basis, it is very important that I take care of my facial skin and daily shaving can take its toll on the skin if not taken care of properly.
  1. Take a hot shower before shaving. The steam and heat from the hot water will open up your pores for deeper cleaning and this will also soften your skin and facial hair, making for a better and closer shave.
  2. Exfoliate in the shower with a facial scrub. While all your facial pores are open, take advantage of this and scrub your face with an exfoliating facial scrub. This will remove any dead skin cells, help prevent ingrown hairs, unclogs your pores and removes dirt, oil, old makeup, etc. It also doubles up as a facial skin massage.. Always massage upward, although you want to exfoliate in all directions, it helps to massage your skin upward. Exfoliating daily will help your facial skin look new and fresh.
  3. Shave. Make sure you do not dry your face prior to shaving. Apply your shaving cream in a circular motion, rubbing it in and wait at least a minute prior to shaving so that the cream can do its job on your facial hair. Using a stiff shaving brush is better, since the bristles will stimulate the facial hairs and get the shaving gel or cream into the hair follicles. For best results, you'll want to use a new blade and shave in the direction of the hair growth, usually downward. however, shaving against the growth can help achieve a closer shave, it may cause nics, bumps or ingrown hairs on some people.
  4. Rinse your face. After you finish shaving, rinse your face first in hot water. You want to open your pores and wash out any traces of shaving cream and loose hairs. Afterwards, rinse again, this time with VERY COLD water. You want to close up all your pores. Make sure you get your entire face. Your goal is to have smooth looking skin, so it is very important to close up all your pores and the cold water will do this. This also helps to prevent shaving bumps and ingrown hairs. DO NOT WIPE DRY.. Always PAT.
  5. Apply aftershave. You want to use a skin conditioning aftershave with aloe to condition your skin after shaving to prevent shaving bumps, redness and irritation, etc. Massage your face in an upward circular motion.
  6. Wait 10 minutes and apply Witch Hazel. After you're done waiting for the aftershave to do its job, you'll want to apply some Witch Hazel to your face. This acts as an astringent and will tightly close all your pores so that your skin appears smoother and will further relieve any remaining irritation as well as heal any skin issues. You do not want your pores to be open when you apply your makeup.
  7. Apply moisturizer. Apply a skin conditioning moisturizer all over your face. You can not skip this step since the last step will dry your skin if left unmoisturized, plus, daily makeup use will dry your skin, so, it is important that you use moisturizer daily. One with aloe will help prevent shaving bumps and you'll want one with vitamin E also since vitamin E is beneficial to skin. I my self use one that also contains collagen. Again, you want to massage in an upward circular motion. Choose a moisturizer that is correct for your skin type if you have very dry or oily skin
Your skin is now smooth and better prepared for makeup application

Getting the Face Ready for Foundation

Before you apply your foundation, you should first follow these steps.

Now that your face is clean, smooth and free of facial hair, you're now ready to begin applying your makeup. One common misconception among transgender women and crossdressers is that they can start off by applying foundation, however, because male skin is more porous, one must use a transparent facial primer. Think of makeup application much like painting, since makeup application is an art form, and you are actually painting your face. But, would you paint a house without first applying a primer? A facial makeup primer prepares the face for better adhesion of the makeup products, plus it fills in the pores as well as small lines and wrinkles, etc.. A facial primer creates a smoother looking face and if you do not use a facial makeup primer, the foundation will fill your pores. A makeup primer fills the pores so that this does not happen. The primer acts as a barrier between the makeup and your skin. Apply the primer to your face the same way you would your moisturizer, rubbing it into your skin in a circular motion. Make sure you do your entire face and down your neck to fill in all those facial hair follicles. You will now have a softer, smoother, younger looking and more feminine appearance after applying the primer and are now ready to begin applying your makeup, however, you're still not ready to put on your foundation. color correcting concealer paletteBefore you're ready to apply foundation, you must first fix any skin imperfections and take care of covering up the beard area. You will need a color correcting concealer palette. The use of concealers hides any complexion flaws you may have. The yellow concealer corrects under-eye circles, covers deep reds and purples, the green concealer hides redness, soft orange neutralizes blue tones, such as the bluish tint of facial hair follicles and the beard area, however, beard coverup will be covered in the next step, and the flesh tones will blend away dark tones and minor imperfections. You will want to use a makeup brush to apply your concealers, and blend them into your skin with the brush, or your fingertips.

Paula Dorf Special CamouflageOnce you're finished with the concealers, the next thing you'll want to do before applying your foundation is to coverup your beard area. I myself achieve this by using Paula Dorf Special Camouflage although the color correcting concealer palette linked above contains a soft orange blue neutralizer adequate for beard coverup, the Paula Dorf Special Camouflage does a better job, is lighter in texture and color and is in my opinion, a superior and more effective product since the peach toned blue neutralizer contained in this color corrector duo actually blends into a natural skin tone and is more easily covered up with foundation after it is applied. It only takes a small amount of Paula Dorf Special Camouflage to coverup the average beard area, since this product is not a coverup, but a blue neutralizer. A males beard area has a blue tint and this blue neutralizer gets rid of that blue tone by chemically neutralizing the tone rather than covering it up with a skin toned layer of some other makeup product. Paula Dorf Special Camouflage is best applied with a small makeup brush by stippling it onto the areas needed. Stippling means you will be taking your brush and repeatedly stabbing dots onto your face until the blue neutralizer is completely blended and over the necessary areas to create a natural looking and seamless, soft finish. Your face is now ready for foundation.

Applying Foundation

How to apply foundation.

Now that your face is ready, the next thing you'll need to do is apply your foundation. You want to choose a foundation that is correct for your skin tone. For a how to on choosing the correct foundation and determining which color is right for you, check out the article Finding The Perfect Foundation...Your Face Will Love You For It! You can also visit a reputable cosmetics dealer and request a color matching consultation from a makeup artist. Many retailers will do this free of charge if you're buying products from them. You will find makeup artists available at retailers such as Sephora, MAC, Macy's and more. Rather than attempt writing up a how to apply foundation, I decided to include a video how to by popular celebrity drag queen Serenity Lopez on how to apply foundation since it is better to see the process in action and how it is done rather than leaving words up for interpretation.

How to Apply Foundation

Video by Serenity Lopez


Finishing Your Face After Foundation

Getting a smooth and shine free finish that lasts

Now that your foundation has been applied, you'll want to apply a bronzer that's slightly darker than your foundation. The bronzer will conceal any concealers that appear through your foundation since the foundation is matched to your skin and will not necessarily cover up the concealers or beard coverups beneath if your skin color or tone is light like ivory. Those with dark skin tones can skip this step if they wish. Bronzer is and can also be used for contouring, but I won't be getting into contouring as it's rather difficult to explain via written word and better learned from watching via videos on YouTube. You can also learn contouring by getting a makeup application lesson from a reputable makeup artist in your area. After you finish applying your bronzer and/or any contouring you wish to do, you will next want to apply your blush. It's a very common misconception among transgender women and crossdressers that blush is applied in a circle upon the cheek bones, however, this is incorrect and looks terrible. Cheek bones on a genetically male face are higher than that of a natal female, and the blush applied in a circle upon your cheekbone will draw unwanted attention to this part of your face, causing you to be a more likely candidate for further scrutiny and likely to be discovered as being "male" instead of female. Your goal here is to draw attention to other areas, and appear female, therefore, your blush should be applied in a line at an angle along your "smile line" and blended in away from your cheeks causing your face to appear thinner. Start a little below your temple and stroke your brush downward at an angle towards the corner of your lip, stopping about half an inch away, then blend the blush to the side, AWAY from your cheeks, not into them. After completing these steps, you'll now need to apply a translucent setting powder. This will set the makeup so that it will remain on your face all day and will prevent the various products from caking and will also blend them all, remove any shine and make your face appear more natural and smooth. You're now ready to apply your eye makeup and lipstick, however, I will not be writing a tutorial on these as you'll better learn from any of the various how to videos available on YouTube.

Also to consider in your quest to learn makeup application, consider purchasing the following two books, both of which I have read and studied and do recommend highly.

MAKING FACES
Making Faces by Kevyn Aucoin

Making Faces by Kevyn Aucoin.


America's preeminent makeup artist Kevyn Aucoin shares his secrets, explaining not only the basics of makeup application and technique but also how to use the fundamentals to create a wide range of different looks. 200 color photos & sketches.

Kevyn Aucoin's faces appear in editorial features, fashion shows, music videos, and advertising campaigns as well as on the covers of virtually every major magazine, and he's be e Ad a guest on many television programs, including Oprah, the Today show, Good Morning America, VH-I's Fashion Television, MTV's House of Style and Entertainment Tonight. His client roster reads like a Who's Who of the entertainment world's elite: This list includes all of the women who appear in this book, as well as Sharon Stone, Whitney Houston, Linda Evangelista, Mary Tyler Moore, Cindy Crawford, Elizabeth Hurley and Bette Midler, among many, many others. Along with the numerous accolades he has received is a special award from the CFDA (Council of Fashion Designers of America), the first and only time such an honor has been bestowed on a makeup artist. The author of the bestselling book The Art of Makeup.

Jemma Kidd Make-up Masterclass: Beauty Bible of Professional Techniques and Wearable Looks 

Jemma Kidd Make-up Masterclass: Beauty Bible of Professional Techniques and Wearable Looks

Jemma Kidd Make-up Masterclass

Millions of women throughout the world wear make-up, but few of them have been taught how to apply it.” This is what inspired leading international make-up artist Jemma Kidd’s vision for her make-up school, product line, and now book, which aims to teach a new generation of women how to use the latest and best techniques.

Jemma Kidd Make-Up Masterclass is a glamorous, contemporary yet timeless book that demystifies the art of make-up and shows women how to enhance their best features and feel confident in their appearance, whatever your age or lifestyle. Beautifully photographed and designed, it offers expert advice in an accessible format: informative text is broken down into bite-size chunks, with tips, insider secrets, and practical stepby- step instructions for fail-safe techniques to maximize natural beauty.
While sharing insights into her life in the beauty industry and a behind-the-scenes glimpse at the preparation that goes on before a show or a photo shoot, Jemma explains how she works with the latest trends to create new looks and color schemes, and shows how extreme looks can be adapted and toned down for everyday wear.

Natural Hormone Replacement Therapy for Transsexuals

 Natural Hormone Replacement Therapy for Transsexuals


As a transsexual transitioning from a male body to a female one, hormonal replacement therapy is just one part of this and I have been successful in obtaining decent results with an all natural way of manipulating hormone levels through herbs and diet, and wish to share with you the following information regarding natural hormones through herbs and food. Take note however, that none of these claims have been approved nor confirmed by the FDA and are merely restated for informational purposes.

  • A higher intake of protein and fats are associated with higher levels of androgens
  • Vegetarians have lower levels of male hormones than meat eaters
  • Low Essential Fatty Acids can boost the production of testosterone. Avoiding foods which contains those EFAs will be a good way to reduce the production of testosterone,
  • Eating foods rich in phytoestrogens appears to lower androgen levels. Phytoestrogens, found in plant foods, are a weaker form of estrogen than that found in the body. The richest sources include tofu, soybeans and flax seed.
  • Soy beans consists of substance that can reduce the production of androgens called isoflavone. Foods with isoflavone which is made out of soy beans are saitans, tofu, tempeh, and many more, You can consume as much as soy beans products as you want because these foods are also healthy for your body, It is a high fiber food which is good for your metabolism, keeping your skin healthy, and limit fat intake in to your body.
  • Foods which contain high EFAs and vegetables which are classified as cruciferous, such as broccoli, turnip, cabbage, Brussels sprout, radishes and cauliflower can radically decrease the estrogen production thus increase the production of testosterone.
  • Spearmint tea decrease testosterone production in the body and act as an anti-androgen. I drink 3 cups a day. Green tea is also good for this purpose.
Herbs and Spices Containing Estradiol.
  • Soy milk
  • Yucca
  • Licorice
  • Tumeric
  • Red Clover
  • Hops
  • Mandrake
  • Verbenna
  • Bloodroot
  • Yellow Dock
  • Thyme
  • Sheep sorrel
The above listed have estrogenic activity at low physiological doses. If you take at least 2 grams of any of the herbs daily or drink 6 ounces or more of soymilk, your body is getting in touch with its feminine side. Additional herbs with higher estrogenic properties than those listed above.
  • Coumestrol
  • Mistletoe
  • Don quai
  • White clover
  • Motherwort
One of the effects of the female hormone progesterone is to inhibit the release of new LH and reduce the circulating levels of LH (5). Therefore, while progesterone is not produced in men, certain foods, herbs and spices do have progesterone like activity. Eating these progesteronic foods in appreciable amounts theoretically may reduce testosterone levels. The list below notes the progesterone-like activity of herbs and spices. Micrograms of Progesterone Equivalents/2 g Dry Herb
  • Bloodroot 100
  • Thyme 4
  • Ocotillo 8
  • Calamus Root 3
  • Mandrake 8
  • Red Clover 3
  • Oregano 8
  • Goldenseal 3
  • Damiana 6
  • Licorice 3
  • Pennyroyal 5
  • Mistletoe 3
  • Verbena 5
  • Cumin 2
  • Nutmeg 4
  • Fennel 2
  • Tumeric 4
  • Camomille 2
  • Yucca 4
  • Cloves 2
A high fat diet = high testosterone. Studies have shown that when total fat, monounsaturated fat, and saturated fat intakes increase, so does testosterone... If you must have fat, make sure it's polyunsaturated. Studies also show that eating animal protein is correlated with increases in testosterone. The "Journal of Endocrinology" has determined that soy (which contains phytoestrogens) will decrease testosterone levels. The fear that consuming soy products, and therefore the consumption of phytoestrogens, would cause a change in testosterone was proven in a study done by Gifu University School of Medicine located in Japan. According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine, the study revealed that testosterone concentrations were inversely related with the intake of soy products, after controlling all other factors.  

Carbohydrates and Simple Sugars Diets which are high in complex carbohydrates, simple sugars and fiber will result in lower testosterone levels. Consuming an excessive amount of carbohydrates will cause blood sugar to elevate and therefore release elevated levels of insulin and cortisol. Once these two hormones are in the body, they work to decrease production of testosterone and oppose the action of the testosterone which is released into the body.  

Foods rich in phytoestrogens, a natural estrogen: Soy. Millet. Barley. Flax seed. Lentils. Kidney beans. Lima beans. Rye. Clover. Fennel. Chickpeas (garbanzo beans). Other foods containing the estrogen compound phytoestrogen include; Apples. Alfalfa sprouts. Celery. Parsley. Beets. Bok choy. Carrots. Cucumbers. Mushrooms. Seaweeds. Squash. Pumpkin seeds. Sunflower seeds. Cherries. Olives. Pears. Plums. Tomatoes. Prunes. Barley. Oats. Brown rice. Wheat germ. Bulgur. Brewer’s Yeast. Black-eye peas. Mung bean sprouts. Navy beans. Red beans. Split peas. Spices; cloves, ginger, hops, oregano, red raspberry, sage tea, thyme, turmeric.

Flax seed is exceptionally excellent, not only as a food containing the estrogen-like phytoestrogen, but for general, all-around health. Flax seed taken daily decreases the risk of heart disease and certain cancers. Flax seed improves liver function, vastly improves the condition of dry skin, dull hair and brittle nails and is helpful in the treatment of eczema and psoriasis. Flax seed alleviates some allergies can lower total serum cholesterol levels by up to 9 percent, lowers LDL cholesterol levels by up to 18 percent, aids in weight loss, improves energy and is effective in treating depressions. Flax seed also improves mental functioning and alleviates some cases of asthma.  

HIGH TESTOSTERONE FOODS TO AVOID Raw Oysters Anything high in ZINC, and/or B6, Avocado Asparagus Banana Figs Celery Almonds and nuts in general eggs meat Brown Rice corn broccoli cabbage high proteins, fatty, etc cauliflower corn onions  

Atttempting to change hormone levels without medical supervision from your doctor could be dangerous. Please consult a doctor before beginning any large dietary changes.


Products I use daily for natural hormone replacement therapy

August 16, 2012

Bye Bye Whore, Hello Podunk


So much has happened in my personal life over the last couple weeks and I feel very compelled to share with you these things.

As many of you may know, I was being evicted from my home and facing homelessness, but working on being placed into family shelter through the Massachusetts Department of Housing and Community Development, however, that plan fell apart and things went entirely in a different direction.

The eviction was executed on August 2nd, however, we were told by DHCD that we would not be eligible for shelter placement until August 6th, so, my daughter, wife and I camped out in a tent on the beach behind a local campground for the weekend with the intention of following through with our plan to be placed via DHCD.

Camping on the beach in a Bivy Tent

That all changed Sunday morning, August 5th when my wife, at 6:30am woke me up in her fit of psychotic and delusional behavior that caused me to panic because I did not want campers in the nearby campground to hear her loud and disruptive behavior that would certainly lead to someone calling the police if she didn't shut up, so, freaking out over the possibility of facing legal issues over camping on the beach and being homeless with a child, I began packing everything up and then walked away.

Naturally my wife ranted and screamed the entire way and in doing so told me that while drunk, on three separate occasions, has cheated on me by having sex with three different men. I was FURIOUS and very hurt and told her that our relationship is OVER. When we arrived in downtown, I put our tent and gear back into our storage bin, and then my wife, the mother of my children, said she was taking off and going to disappear.

My daughter and I watched her walk away for a moment, and then I asked my little girl, "Do you want to follow mommy" and her answer was "No, just let her go.. I want to stay with you daddy".... It was the following morning that we were to return to DHCD, however, now that my wife was not with us, we had friends willing to help us, so, spent the night at one such friends and then moved to the Cape to temporarily live with my mother and older daughter. Previously this was not an available option since my wife was not welcome, and as much as I do appreciate my mother's help and really enjoy being with my older daughter, that she and my youngest are together, the situation presents some difficult challenges for me because I am transgender and am being forced back into repression and hiding who I am due to my mother's fears, etc over the reactions of others and that of my older daughter who does not know. The other challenge here is that this community is akin to podunk and you need a vehicle to get anywhere. I simply hate this area and feel trapped, but it'll have to do until I can change that, which I feel may not be for a long time since school starts in a couple weeks and I am not willing to disrupt my child's education in order to move to another town, although I do hope to be out of my mom's house and in a place of my own within a couple to few months.

I did manage to get my PC, so, will be back to my normal networking and blogging activities and with luck save my business that is falling apart. I'm certain my business will fully collapse near the beginning of next month since I have two invoices overdue for $250 which if not paid will cause me to lose domains and my web server, putting me completely out of business and losing any little income being generated. The other challenge for me is how to pay $300 in court costs due by Sept 13 for a bogus charge that was dismissed, so, I simply feel overwhelmed and fucked.

To make matters worse, my motorcycle is in my father in laws yard and he is demanding that I remove it ASAP or he'll "get rid of it", this after he gave me permission to park it there. He's just being a jerk to me because of his daughter, and well, I have no way to get it, nor the money to do so. DAMN, I love my bike and will be pissed if I lose it.

Anyway, I had to return to my home area to tie up loose ends over the past weekend, chase down some documents, get my PC from storage, etc and took my daughter to the Chinese August Moon Festival in Boston's Chinatown. We had a great time and it was a much needed break for me to get away from my mom's for the weekend so I can put on my wig, makeup, skirt and heels, etc. I am MISERABLE when I am denied the ability to be my self, and here I sit writing this all a mere 4 days after returning and I am already irritable, depressed and anxious over the fact I am unable to outwardly express my gender identity.


Chinese August Moon Festival, Chinatown, Boston 2012
Chinese August Moon Festival, Chinatown, Boston 2012

There's some great news too. Today I was in Probate and Family court and have been granted emergency sole legal and physical custody of my six year old daughter and given the circumstances with her mother, I should be granted custody permanently when the hearing takes place, I believe in 90 days.

Tomorrow I hope to be hired for a job somewhere, although there's jack shit out here other than small retail and food service, I need something, so, hopefully find something ASAP before shit gets worse again.

All I know is, I really need to improve and change my life and the sooner, the better.

July 12, 2012

Transgender For the Uneducated & Clueless Bigot

Transgender For the Uneducated & Clueless Bigot

Transgender 101

In light of recent events involving certain family members, as well as various instances in the past where one used incorrect terminology in reference to my gender expression to conform to my gender identity, I would like to educate those who are unaware of the correct terminology applicable to transgender persons.  I would also like to dispel common myths espoused by bigots.

First, the term TRANSGENDER is an all inclusive umbrella term that includes ALL variations of gender identity, gender expression, and gender variation that does not conform to any binary gender.   When in doubt as to a persons specific gender identification and/or reasons for gender expression, the correct term to use at all times is TRANSGENDER, because, if you use a more specific term that may not apply to the individual, you are very likely to not only offend them, but cause the person emotional distress.

Now let's get into some of the more specific terms of various gender identity and gender expression related terminology.  I am only going to cover the basics and most common.


  • Transsexual - A transsexual is a person with the gender identity of the opposite sex engaged in gender expression to present themselves as the gender they identify with.  In simplest terms, a transsexual is a person born with the body of the wrong sex.  Most transsexuals seek medical treatment such as hormone replacement therapy or sex reassignment surgery although does not always include surgery for a variety of reasons, one of them usually being financial.  A transsexual is either a man born in the body of a woman, which is commonly referred to as Transman, Transgender Man, or FTM (Female Transitioning to Male), or a woman born in the body of a man, commonly referred to as Transwoman, Transgender Woman, or MTF (Male Transitioning to Female).  In my case, Transsexual is the most accurate term to describe me personally as I was born male, identify as female and express my self as female and transition has been in progress for some time
  • Cross Dresser - In simplest terms, a cross dresser is a male who wears the clothing of the opposite sex, BECAUSE the garments are associated with the opposite sex and often includes gender expression but usually does not include gender identification except on a temporary basis. Cross-dressers have little or no interest in changing sex.
  • Transvestite - A transvestite is a person who wears clothing of the opposite sex for sexual gratification or sexual purposes due to fetishistic elements of either the garments themselves or the gender role associated with the garment(s).

  •  Drag Queen - a drag queen is a male engaged in gender expression as a member of the opposite sex for the purpose of performance art and entertainment which often includes comedy, theater, singing and dancing.  The majority of drag queens are gay men, however, there are some heterosexual male drag queens.  The female version of drag is referred to as Drag King.

    When you meet a transgender person in public not in a "club" setting, in the majority of instances, but not always, that person is most likely transsexual since cross dressers and/or transvestites usually only engage in gender expression behind closed doors although some do venture out in public once in awhile.  When in doubt as to anything specific about the person, ALWAYS use transgender and do not make the mistake of using an incorrect term.

    Next, I'd like to cover derogatory terminology.  Under no circumstances whatsoever should anyone ever use these terms in reference to transgender persons.
    • Shemale - A term used in pornography featuring transsexual women who have not undergone sex reassignment surgery..
    • Tranny - A derogatory slur.  Using this term is similar to calling someone a racial slur.  It is also used in pornography.

      Since I just covered derogatory terminology, lets also cover sexual orientation since many bigots confuse gender identity and gender expression with being gay.   As previously stated, gender identity refers to ones identification of being of either sex, sex is defined by one's biological genitalia born with and gender expression is ones expression of gender through wardrobe, mannerisms, makeup, behavior, appearance, etc.   Sexual orientation however is ones own preference for romantic relationships and/or sexual intercourse and is non inclusive of gender identity or expression in that ones gender identity and expression has nothing whatsoever to do with which sex they prefer relationships or sexual activity with.

      For the same reasons that a woman can be lesbian, so too could a transgender woman. The ONLY time a transgender person is to be referred to as gay is in the cases of gay men engaged in drag queen performance, or transgender men who are sexually attracted to other men.  A transgender woman who is sexually attracted to women is a lesbian.  A transgender woman who is sexually attracted to men, or a transgender man sexually attracted to women, is considered as being straight.  Take note that this does not include cross dressers or transvestites because this is a form of gender expression without the gender identity, so, a cross dresser or transvestite that is sexually attracted to men is considered as being gay, but , a cross dresser or transvestite sexually attracted to women is NOT lesbian, but straight.

      Take note however that the terms gay, straight or lesbian do not apply to the physical sexual acts themselves when involving transgender persons, since a pre-op transgender woman engaged in sexual activity with a natal female is not engaged in "lesbian" sex, but hetero sexual intercourse.  It's complicated.

      Moving on, let's cover some basic transgender etiquette and your ethical responsibilities when dealing with transgender persons in respect to gender identity.

      • Respect their gender identity -  If the person in front of you is presenting themselves as a woman then address that person as a woman. If the person is presenting themselves as a man, then address that person a man. This means that you should use the proper pronouns and address them with the proper name. If you once knew the individual as John but that person now uses the name Mary when expressing her self as female, then you should address her as "Mary." 

      •  Treat them the same as any other person of their gender. - A transgender woman wants to be considered as a woman and treated as such. Similarly, a transgender man wants to be considered a man and treated as a man. Just use some common sense,  that one's biological sex is irrelevant.
      Things NOT to do.

      • Do not refer to biological women/men as "real women/men" in that it conveys the idea that the transgender person is not really a woman or man.
      • Never assume a transgender persons sexuality, nor ever consider transgender persons as sexual deviants or that it is some perversion.  Gender identity with the accompanying gender expression have nothing whatsoever to do with sexuality.

      • Never refer to transgender persons with derogatory terms connotative of sexual orientation, such as faggot, queer, homo, dike, butch, etc.  Gender identity and sexual orientation are unrelated and each a separate distinctive characteristic.
      I know I haven't covered everything, but hopefully this is enough of the simple basics for you to understand that gender identity and/or gender expression is not a perversion or mental illness.   In most types of transgender persons, there is a real NEED for the individual to BE and express themselves as the opposite sex assigned to them at birth.  A transsexual person denied the ability and right to be themselves is extremely distressed.

      As a transsexual woman, I my self am the HAPPIEST I ever been my entire life having been finally able to BE MY SELF and there's simply NO WAY I can undo this, nor can I ever go back.  I WOULD RATHER DIE than have to SUFFER again being something I only was on the outside because of the expectations and societal conditions placed upon me by others.

      July 7, 2012

      Cacophony Amok

      Cacophony Amok

      The World Spins So Fast That I Might Fly Off


      Mere words expressed can barely touch upon all that consumes my mind of late and for the first time in quite a long time, I ironically find myself at a loss for words and am having immense difficulty articulating myself, all the while holding back the rage boiling deep within.

       It has been a hell of a week and with all that has happened and currently going on, I feel as if I'm about to break.  My mind can barely recover from one catastrophe before another one falls upon my head.   Everything just continues to spiral out of control and each time I dodge a bullet, another rapidly approaches.  I barely have a moment to breath in between and it's all having an impact on me mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.   For the first time in my life, I am sick and fucking tired of being alive.   I am so goddamn tired.  I am emotionally destroyed, mentally I'm worn out and lost the will to do anything at all, I am physically weak, sore and exhausted, and spiritually I have lost all faith and hope. but worst of all, I am afraid.... very afraid, and I no longer have the will to stay strong.  As much as I try to keep everything together, this whirlwind's too strong for me to keep holding on.  

       I can barely articulate a single coherent thought without some further impedance manifesting within this cacophonous atmosphere that is my life, so, it is no wonder that I am here now  barely able to decide where to begin without some serious forethought in expressing all that's taken place in the last week, whereas without an addled mind, the words would flow naturally without effort nor thought.

      Logic dictates that one should convey events chronologically, however, it is rather difficult for me to do so, therefore, any chronology of events is considerably lost when trying to convey to others via mere words and this post is likely to be cacophony amok, such is my life as it is.  Bare with me as I try the best I can to explain everything..


      Me
      Fist off, although it may appear unrelated to anything whatsoever to do with anything expressed thus far, I assure you that inclusion is necessary, for reasons which will become clear further on.  Last weekend, I attended my first ever Pride event, accompanied by my wife, daughter and great close friend Angel Silver Moon.  If you didn't know already, I am transgender and since Pride is a LGBT event which includes T for transgender, I was interested in attending the North Shore Pride Parade and Festival in Salem, Massachusetts because I thought it would be fun, as well as fun, free entertainment for my daughter who really enjoyed the parade and all the rainbows, and also because I have friends who marched in the parade.   Unlike certain Pride events in other cities, the North Shore Pride event was very family friendly and my child had a FABULOUS time and like any parent normally does at any given events involving their children and fun activities, I took photographs of my child as well as video of the parade, etc.  As any parent commonly does, I shared a couple photos of my daughter at the parade on my personal Facebook page that has family and long time friends.  One of the photos was of her sitting in the grass waving a little rainbow flag, the other was of her standing next to a woman dressed up in an Uncle Sam costume, both her and "Sam" were holding the rainbow flag known as the Gay Pride flag. 


      Well. lo and behold, shortly after posting the aforementioned photos, The Wicked Witch of the East saw the photos of "Dorothy" in Oz and my oh my did she flip her lid and shit bricks over it. At least this is my assumption since what's taken place was immediately after the fact and it's the only reason I can think of, since there is no other explanation whatsoever. I am referring to my maternal aunt, who is an uneducated, prejudiced, bigoted, homophobic and transphobic hypocrite.

      My best guess is that upon learning about the existence of the photographs of my child being at the "gay parade" via an unknown third party, my aunt flipped the fuck out and called the police on me, making some very serious false accusations derived out of her sick and twisted, vile imagination, out of spite and hatred.  According to my aunt, a child holding a rainbow flag at a gay parade is "sick and disgusting" and the stupid cunt actually called the cops on me and told them that I was "posting disgusting and sick photos" of my child on Facebook.   To state that I was vehemently irate over this is an understatement, I was fucking FUMING ANGRY.     First of all, since when is it a fucking police matter regarding photos posted on Facebook, and second, why the fuck are they not asking questions for specific information and details when receiving such calls from dumbass cunts like my aunt. One would think they would question the caller to determine whether or not the matter is a matter of law, because, for police to be involved, a crime must be committed.  The police are not there to enforce morality of bigots. Or maybe they decided to become involved BECAUSE I am transgender, but that would only be speculation based on the assumption that my aunt mentioned it using derogatory terminology.

      As a consequence of that dumb cunts actions, my poor daughter has been traumatized by the entire incident, and also, I am FUCKING PISSED at that no good piece of shit.  HOW FUCKING DARE she call the police and make such malicious false accusations against me because she can't fucking handle the fact that I took MY child to a LGBT Pride event and posted the photos, or that she is FLIPPED OUT over that I am a transgender woman, living MY LIFE..  First off, it's NONE OF HER FUCKING BUSINESS, and second, it's not a fucking police matter.   Since when is it illegal to post pictures of children holding rainbow flags?

      After allowing the police to visually inspect my child and interview her, I was asked to come to the station to logon to my Facebook and allow them access to my profile.  After they confirmed that there was no wrong doing on my part nor any crime took place, and that there were not any "disgusting" photos, we all concluded that my homophobic aunt's definition of "sick and disgusting" does not fall within the legal classifications of ANY crime whatsoever.    Upon returning home from the station, I immediately called the scumbag piece of shit to ask her what the fuck her problem is, however, as usual with this fucking bitch, I wasn't allowed to get a word in since she was running her mouth like a psycho cunt as she commonly does, and she foamed at the mouth making some serious vile accusations that have no merit nor fact, derived out of her own delusional mind because she is a homophobic, transphobic bigot who not only flipped out over pictures of my child with gay rainbow flags, but that she found out I am transgender and also shared photos of myself with my daughter on my other facebook under my female identity, how she even knew that I have no fucking idea, however, transgender was not the word she used, nor does she even remotely have a single clue what it even is or means, she just runs her mouth with derogatory bigoted bullshit and used negative prejudicial terminology, because she HATES anything that does not conform to her version of what people should be like, which is white, catholic, and straight as well as conformist to her and only her point of view.  I should also include that she hates poor people as well, which is hypocritical of her, because the dumbass cunt clearly refuses to accept where she came from, which is working class poor background. She is just a frigging hypocrite.  She can take her holier than thou, better than everyone else snooty attitude and shove it the fuck up her ass.   Ironic that she harbors such hate when her own son, my cousin, is gay, but of course she flipped out upon learning that too, and then she simply pretended it wasn't real.  I'm not surprised that he turned out to be gay after spending his entire childhood being called "Faggot" & "Little Queer" by his mother on a daily basis.  She often also threatened to shove a high heeled shoe up his "Faggot ass".

      My aunt is the kind of stupid cunt who thinks she is always right and that everyone else is always wrong even though the evidence and facts show otherwise.  She is clearly out of her fucking goddamn mind if she thinks a photo of a child holding a rainbow flag is "sick and disgusting", as well as the fact that I am transgender, presenting my self in public as female with my child in my presence.   Seriously?  What the fuck is wrong with her?   Fucked up that she thinks my child should be taken away from me because I am transgender, and that she is the ONLY ONE EVER to have a problem with this, because she truly is one really stupid dumb fuck.   Only stupid bitches like her think being transgender is some sick perversion dangerous to a child.. She's just FUCKED IN THE HEAD.

      She must think she is the almighty, because anyone and everyone involved in my life knows that I am transgender and that I am a GREAT PARENT & POSITIVE ROLE MODEL, yet it is ONLY HER that has a problem with anything, and the only sickness here is hers.  My child's teachers, school nurse, school administrators & staff, bus drivers, dentist and doctors all only know me as a WOMAN.. a transgender woman.  I interacted with them ALL on a regular basis all year long and NOBODY ever had a single problem nor complaint about my gender identity or gender expression.  NOT ONE!    Further, my child has MANY FRIENDS and every single one of their parents have been supportive and accepting of my status as a transgender woman.  Me child has NEVER been denied inclusion in ANY activities whatsoever with her friends, and NOT ONCE has my transgender status EVER been an issue. She visits friends at their houses, plays with them at the park, at the beach, sees them around town, etc, etc...  Everything is the same as it would be if I were a natal female, or even just a man... NOBODY CARES that I am transgender... THIS IS ALL NORMAL and there is NOTHING wrong with it... It is ACCEPTABLE, yet my aunt seems to think it's a problem and a "sick" thing. because she is uneducated, and she is a BIGOT.   The worst part of all this is that she has custody of my oldest daughter because our house in 2001 burned down and she is a liar and a backstabbing bitch.  I noticed that day that my daughter has deleted and blocked me on Facebook and god help that fucking cunt aunt of mine if she resorted to hostile aggressive parenting and shit talked about me to my child and brainwashed my girl with bigotry, hate and prejudice.  My aunt is such a cunt that I have not been able to speak to my daughter since Valentines day, other than via Facebook chat, because my aunt screens her phone calls and NEVER answers when I call, nor ever returns a single phone call.   Over the years, the bitch has had countless bullshit excuses why I couldn't come over and visit my child, and 99% of the time, ANY TIME I ever wanted to take my child out anywhere, the bitch refused to allow it, and not once ever was I allowed to take my child home with me for overnight or vacation stays, although the hypocrite always allowed her own cunt crack whore, coke addicted slut daughter take her out, but not me, and I am the child's father.  My aunt is just a CUNT.

      Speaking of her being a bigot, several years ago when she was an EMT, one evening while drunk with her bigot and holier than thou friends and scumbag second husband, she had the audacity to brag how she and her co-worker scumbag denied medical treatment to a transgender person because she was, according to my aunt, "a worthless piece of shit" because she was a "transvestite nigger" who "deserved to die".    My whole life I heard this woman say terrible nasty things about all sorts of people of various races, religions, cultures, sexual orientations, etc.. She is so hateful.  She is in my opinion, EVIL.

      Consequently, I ranted about the entire fiasco on my Facebook profile I have under my female identity and it was then that I decided to open up and tell everyone on my other Facebook, because I was PISSED about this whole thing.   Prior to this, the only family that knew was my two sisters, my mom, my gay cousin, my wife and youngest daughter, and my wife's entire family.  Naturally all of my close friends know, as well as many former high school and college classmates, and friends I have not seen in a long time, but there were several old friends I haven't seen in ages that didn't know, simply because they didn't need to because they never see me.  That all changed when I also ranted on the Facebook of my legal male name accompanied with photos of me as the girl I am..

      This entire incident has caused me to suffer major stress, anxiety and panic, things already suffered due to my family being evicted, something I mentioned more than once here on this blog, as well as on YouTube.  While I'm on this topic, let me share with you what happened on the 5th when I went to court for the summary process eviction.

      On June 28 I filed an answer to the complaint and sought to have the case transferred to housing court because it would have stalled the case for at least a week or two, perhaps even longer, however, the clerk working that day told me that they don't do this anymore, that transfers are done during the case in court, and decided by the court, however, that turned out to be FALSE.

      Upon my case being called, the clerk magistrate instructed both parties, the landlord and I, to try and  reach an agreement.  He had an attorney and we were unable to reach any form of agreement since he wanted me to be out IMMEDIATELY, which was unacceptable nor doable by me, so, the case went before the judge.  It was then that I requested the transfer, and we were instructed to go to the clerks office, however, was denied transfer because she said it was supposed to be BEFORE THE COURT DATE, and upon me explaining what happened on the 28th, she denied it, which is FUCKING BULLSHIT.    So, back to the courtroom we went to have a bench trial, and OH MY FUCKING GOD was it a freaking circus.   The judge and all of the court staff called me ma'am, miss, she, her, etc, yet the landlord and his attorney called me Mr, sir, him, he, etc, with me correcting them each time, and the snickers in the courtroom as a result were causing me to feel anxious to get the fuck out of there.  The judge was very nice and easy going, and seeing that we had our child with us, he allowed her up front with us, and even had her sworn in as a witness so she would feel included, which I thought was a very nice thing for him to do.  After the landlord and attorney presented their case, I explained to the judge that in light of the circumstances, neither I nor my wife are willing to take the stand and contest the issue of non payment, that the only reason we're even here is because we need time to vacate as we have nowhere to go, nor the funds to move into another apartment.  He then explained to the landlord that it was in his best interests to try to work out some form of arrangements we can both agree upon, so, we all left the courtroom to discuss the matter and agreed on July 28th, so, I have until then to move out, however, I still have nowhere to go nor anywhere close to enough funds to do anything with yet.   Considering the previous discussion, I would like to add that the judge nor any other court staff found me being transgender to be "sick and disgusting".  I wonder if my aunt would think she knows better than a court judge.

      Finally, my wife's mental illness is driving me freaking insane.  I can't take it anymore... all day and night I have to put up with her incessant delusional bullshit and I am SICK OF IT.  I am sick and tired of her paranoid schizophrenia.  I am sick of the delusions and hallucinations, I am sick of the riddles and games and I am sick of the accusations and their accompanying hostility and I greatly FEAR being homeless with a child with this psycho woman, because she is another disaster and crisis waiting to happen.

      I suppose this post is all over the place, so, I don't know what more I can add at this time although my chaotic life is not short of material to share.  I'm rather overwhelmed with too much and what's already been stated is barely the tip of the iceberg.  I also want to add, thanks to my douchebag aunt and the stress and anxiety she cause my family, I started smoking again after over a week of being smoke free.

      I am so sick and tired of dealing with so much shit and I really need to get away from everything.  With what little funds I have, our crap will go into a storage bin and since we have nowhere to stay I will take my daughter out to go camp for two weeks at a campground IF I can even afford it, otherwise we'll be living in whatever woods we can find, although considering, I really would feel safer at a campground because of my child.   Being transgender and going to a homeless shelter with a paranoid schizophrenic wife and a six year old child is a VERY FRIGHTENING thing to even think about.  If at all costs, I hope to avoid this.   Honestly, I don't know what the fuck to do any more.

      One last thing... My computer is REALLY PISSING ME OFF.  I am sick of the damn CPU overheating and the PC going off at the worst time possible and the other one my friend let me have is sooooo slow I can barely get anything done.   Seems I can't have anything go my way these days.  All week I have been wanting to record video for my YouTube channel, but too much shit keeps getting in my damn way, mostly my wife who is constantly up my ass and in my face with stupid bullshit.

      March 20, 2012

      Men Are Pigs!

      Men Are Pigs


      More than likely, you have probably some time in your life heard a woman say the infamous idiom, "Men are pigs". That's because it is true. Certainly not all men are pigs, but, since being a woman my self, I have discovered first hand why it is that so many women feel this way, and, well, it is true that many men are pigs.

      Before, as a man, I my self never understood, nor was I ever even aware of the extent of bullshit a beautiful woman has to put up with when out in public.  Certainly I was aware of the many issues a pretty woman encounters out in public, but not the extent and frequency of it, and, well, now I fully understand it all too well, because I my self have to deal with it, and frankly, it is annoying as hell and sometimes can even be frightening and creepy.

      As a woman,  I like to look pretty and I love to wear mini skirts and high heels, because that's what I like, however, this is not a friggin open invitation for every classless buffoon in the universe to make comments on how sexy my legs are, nor am I impressed with how fucking cool some asshat thinks he is because he can toot his fucking horn like a retarded mongol, nor do I enjoy the mating calls of neanderthal apes who can whistle.

       While I'm at it, just because I'm wearing a skirt and makeup does not mean I'm looking to "hook up" with any and every clueless creep in town whom would probably screw a goddamn chicken if given the opportunity.   One, I am married, to a woman, two, as if you couldn't guess it, I am, technically, a lesbian, and three, I have a friggin dick, and, well, not only are men pigs, but they're fucking stupid too.   I'm happy that they see me as female and can't tell that I am a transsexual, and I'm also flattered that I am beautiful, but damn is it annoying to put up with such classless rudeness, because it happens every time I go out, and too frequently.