February 13, 2013

SpongeBob SquarePants Conspiracy Theory

SpongeBob SqaurePants and Friends Are The Byproduct of Nuclear Testing

SpongeBob SquarePants
For quite some time I have been compelled to write a blog post on some of the oddest things found in this blogs statistics for search queries that have landed visitors to any of my posts, and there's certainly no shortage of strange search terms that land people here, but today I'm compelled to write about the SpongeBob SquarePants conspiracy theory.

Checking out today's statistics, a visitor landed on my blog from Google, looking up "SpongeBob Conspiracy Theory."   I found this not only peculiar, but intriguing, so began my own searches to find out more.

According to Reddit user Capmaster, responding in a Reddit post, states;
"The existence of SpongeBob and his strange friends is the result of radiation from nuclear arms testing that was performed on the Bikini Atoll in the late 40's and early 50's. Since they live under the atoll, the town is known as 'Bikini Bottom'."

The SpongeBob Squarepants Wiki confirms that SpongeBob SquarePants indeed is set at the bottom of Bikini Atoll. 
 "Bikini Atoll is the marker of where Bikini Bottom is located. It has been seen as just a small island with three Coconut Palm Trees. It is seen at the beginning of almost every episode. The only known locals are the two seagulls that attacked SpongeBob and his friends in Pressure. In many episodes that involved breaking the surface, or flying out of the water, the island is shown in the background. When SpongeBob and the gang break the surface, they become puppets on sticks, or live action characters (SpongeBob turns into a real kitchen sponge, Patrick into a dried starfish, Sandy a squirrel puppet with a helmet, and so on). It also appears in a scene in the SpongeBob Theme Song. In the 1940s and 1950s, it had been a place for nuclear bomb tests.    Execpt for the occasional segull, it is uninhabited."
In the aforementioned Reddit post, user theretheresweetthing adds that the SpongeBob characters represent the seven deadly sins;
Squidward: Wrath
Mr. Crabs: Greed
Plankton: Envy
Sandy: Pride
Patrick: Sloth
SpongeBob: Lust
Gary: Gluttony

There's other SpongeBob SquarePants conspiracy theories out there too, such as that SpongeBob & friends are all on drugs according to SmokeOwT on Stoner Forums;
I have determined that SpongeBob SquarePants is all about drugs. If you can't see it (it's so obvious), here's some evidence.

SpongeBob SquarePants is on meth amphetamine. It's blatant. He's always really, really happy, energetic and, occasionally, paranoid. If he ever is in a bad mood, it's the result of a major crash. He never just gets mellow then sad. He goes from really happy to really sad or really angry. There's no middle ground.

Patrick Star is a stoner. He laughs at stupid things and eatsall the time. He's also really stupid. The THC is probably permanently in his system from his smoking so much. He must go through like a pound of weed a week.

Squidward Tentacle is on heroin. He's always down and he yells at SpongeBob for being hyped up and energetic. Also, with all of his arms, he'd have no problem shooting up.

Mr. Krabs is on coke. He's really uppity and notice how he's always concerned about money. Coke is expensive. He has to manage his finances carefully if he wants to sustain his habit. He's also their dealer. Notice how there are few people in The Krusty Krab. How does Mr. Krabs keep his business afloat? The Krusty Krab is just a front and a little extra money for Mr. Krabs to cover his drug operation.

Sandy Cheeks is just an alcoholic. She ruins every episode she's in 'cause she's always drinking. I wouldn't be surprised if she curls up with a bottle of Jack every now and again.
 So, there you have it, SpongeBob SquarePants conspiracy theories, LOL.  What are your thoughts? Comment below;


  1. Doesn't make sense to YOU, because you're CLEARLY ILLITERATE. Did you even READ the fucking post??

  2. explain how spongebob is lust? and gary as gluttony?

    also the drug one was pretty retarded. doesnt make any sense

    1. SpongeBob is lust because he focuses on one thing in his life. Work. Gary is gluttony because he always eats until hes sick, hes greedy about the food..

  3. Didn't make much sense to me either... I can see how some things make sense...
    The only thing I didn't get was spongebob as lust, & some of the drug stuff seemed unfounded, but it could fit.